Please read on.Really a good one.
Marriage is a social institution as well as an emotional necessity for individual.Feelings like love, though true ,are transitory and are related one’s mental make up at a given point of time and also the expectation level of the individual.This keeps on varying.
The feeling of love is a Natural urge impelled by the process of propagating the species.Instincts express them selves as desire,;desire mulled over and reimposed becomes emotion;This varies according to person’s age and cultural back ground.Hence the feeling of Love and expression of Love differs from age group to age group and from one cultural back ground to another.
Determinig factors in Love are age and cultural back ground.
Another factor is the acceptability level of one to another in terms being comfortable with another.Here the core issue is self comfort and not Altruism as glorified by Literarture the world over.There need be no guilt feeling about being selfish as it is the way nature has meant us to be, for only then species will grow.My father used to say’I show affection to you;but you will show affection to your child more than to me,for it is Natural’.I agree.
So feelings of Love are true in so far us they exist and give us satisfaction.That does not mean people need to go around all the time’I love you’-It is pure humbug and every one knows it, but still want hearing it for it makes them happy. and by making your spouse happy , you are also happy.
Essentially, as has been said in the article, living for other,total compatibilty etc are 100% unadulterated lies.
Fact is we get the feeling of love, get married, for the better or worse and should march on.Divorce is no solution for you can still grumble and again divorce and there is no end.Happiness is a state of mind.Do not analyse too much on Relationships;if you do , you shall know it is empty.May be cynical, but true.
Love for others with out any expectation also gives us joy which can not be expected of any other relationship.As far as I know this is a mystery.I have stopped analysing.
I am 60 , married for 32 years with grand children ,would not know whether I am happy or unhappy .All I can say I am comfortable,I do not know what my wife thinks of.
As a tail piece,I have also loved and lost ,even at this age it pains me and I can not understand why, knowing well it is not rational.
Story:
How much romance did early American farmers expect? After they’d milked the cows and tilled the fields and put the kids to bed, did they hope to exchange a few pleasant words from time to time, have sex once in a while, and occasionally stay up to watch the embers fade to black before falling asleep? Did they expect much more than a colleague with benefits?
Or did they believe, that “Love is a magical journey,” and that getting married meant they were “about to embark on a wonderful voyage,” as Disney promises on its wedding site.
Did they expect that love would fulfill their every need, that they would never again be lonely, that if they found someone who was compatible that their every dream would come true, effort-free?
http://www.alternet.org/story/143639/6_marriage_myths_shattered%3A_how_barack_and_michelle_shun_fairy_tale_romance?page=1
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